Easter Police

Easter Sunday I was visited twice by the police.

The first officer arrived with The Stalker and her crew in tow. He said she was here to get her stuff, so I handed him a key. I explained that when I got the call from Clark County I went out the next day and secured a storage locker. That same day I move all of The Junk into said locker.

A day or so later (last Thursday), I stopped by her work to drop off the key but she was not there. A coworker informed me that she was working the next day (Friday). I planned on stopping by while running errands, but The Pirate called to inform me that The Stalker had been bragging about using the cops to disrupt our Easter. I decided to wait and see for myself.

Sure enough, in the afternoon, Portland police showed up. The officer was reasonable, stating that The Stalker was her to get her belongings. He was surprised that I had gone to the trouble of renting a storage locker. I told him that I was fearful of my home being broken into. He delivered the key to the entourage and returned with a surprise for me: A key to my home. Seems The Stalker had held onto a key as some sort of insurance policy. Scary.

The officer hung around for a while and seemed to sympathize with my plight. I told him that I had never been contacted about plans to retrieve The Junk that was left in The Room. My only clue was a message left by Clark County. I felt things went swimmingly. I was wrong.

8 hours later a second set of officers arrived. Two this time. With a more sour tone. I was surprised. From the line of questioning it was obvious The Stalker had concocted a story where I had trashed her belongings. Nothing of the sort is true. I simply moved the boxes from my property to the storage locker. Nothing more. Somehow I was on the defensive.

These officers wanted to hear the crazy and threatening message that was left on the home phone. It was the only message The Stalker ever left. I'll try and post and edited transcript.

After answering the questions to the best of my ability and showing the officers The Room (slowly converting back into my office) as well as the motor home where The Junk was stored. The second encounter with the police was less comforting.

I'm starting this story in the middle and will attempt to fill in the blanks as I go. There are a few facts the reader might find interesting:

• I've never had an argument with The Stalker.
• I knew her for about a month.
• I rented her a room for one week.
• We are basically strangers to each other.
• All I did was rent her a room.